Epitaph

An epitaph is a short text honoring a deceased person.  Maybe other people, besides me, have wondered what would be said at their funeral.  Or, if you are like me, wonder would anyone show up?  What would be said?  Here lies Kathy, beloved mother, daughter, and wife.  She was accomplished in……   In what?  If you were to ask me, I have accomplished nothing.  Take that back.  Shaun is one of my accomplishments.  He is everything I wanted him to be…independent and strong.  Which is a good and bad thing.  But Shaun is Shaun and will be fine.  Every time I see a picture or hear his music, I smile.

Me, on the other hand, I don’t know.  I guess the empty nest thing can really get you thinking.  I look around and just don’t know.  If I walk into the light this second, what would it be like?  Can I really say I have done and accomplished great things?  Not really.  Yes, I had a child; however, so do a lot of other women.

I have heard people say death is not a scary thing.  To me, it is.  If I think about it, I get in an emotional turmoil.  My heart beats quickly and I panic.  I think to myself, “You have not accomplished anything in your life.  Nice job.”  But I really shouldn’t worry because I won’t be here anyway.  Dust to dust, right?

When I think about things I want to accomplish, it would be just a dream.  When I was younger, I was a type of powerhouse.  I wanted to be the best in everything I did, and if I didn’t I would try until I did.  Playing 2^nd clarinet was not good enough, I must play 1^st chair.  I must be drum major.  Those things happened because I pushed myself.  When I was younger, a much better epitaph could have been written.

Even Mozart wrote his Requiem, which is beautiful and what I am listening to now.  But Mozart was somebody.  I am……..???

Bringing It Back

Nothing screams style more than skirt pants.

My mom is a smart lady.  She has always said that all styles come back around.  As I look in some stores, to my horror, the 80’s attire smacks me in my face.  Oh, don’t get me wrong, I loved the 80’s attire.  I think back then the more obnoxious the better.

Way back in the 80’s, big earrings were the “it” thing.  When I see the big earrings on display now, I was shocked that they were so light weight!  When I wore big 80’s earrings, back in the day, your earlobe would practically be down to the ground they were so heavy.  That didn’t stop us 80’s girls.  We wore them and didn’t complain.  Well, we wore them and maybe there were some complaints, but we kept it to ourselves.

You would think with all the bandanas that were owned, there were many teens who were working hard labor jobs.  Jobs that needed those bandanas to wipe brows from the sweat that was dripping from foreheads.  Yeah, right.  The bandanas were for style.  Not the red and blue ones, those were too boring.  They were striped like a tiger or leopard.  Sometimes, they were fluorescent.  Instead of wiping our brows with them, you could see many a male wearing them on their leg or arm.  Or, if they were in a band, they were hanging gracefully from the microphone stand.  Don’t even THINK about wiping your sweaty self with one of these.

How about those jeans?  Stonewashed, whitewashed, a little bit of this and that washed.  You didn’t wear them for comfort, you wore them tight.  I remember many times lying on my bed zipping up those jeans.  Sometimes, I would even have to put a safety pin on the inside just to make sure they would stay closed.  I did a lot of standing during those days.  Why sit and be comfortable?  The point was to look good.  If you sat, you ran the risk of safety pins breaking open, your fly flying open, and your gut going through the opening of your jeans.  Nothing says sexy like your stomach poking through.

The best for last?  Hairspray.  The bigger the hair, the better.  Aqua Net was the choice, but I also added Stiff hairspray.  I could have gone through a hurricane and tornado combined and my hair would have stayed.  Doing your hair was dangerous with these hairsprays.  All I can say is, thank goodness the flaming shot was not popular back then.  There would have been many hair fires to put out.  Yes, I was one of those people who burnt their hair.  My friend Maureen was having a party at her house.  I went into the bathroom to check myself, lit my cigarette and then asked myself, “What the heck is that smell?”  You guessed it, the bangs caught fire.  Just a little though and I needed a trim anyway.  Washing your hair the next day was always a treat.  With all the gunk on my hair, I would have to wash it twice.  Then, I would repeat the whole hairspray thing after the cleaning.  I am sure my hair was saying, “Why is she doing this to me?  She does a spiral perm and then weighs me down with this stinky hairspray!”

So as I sit back and watch the styles come back, I will continue with my no perm straight hair with just a touch of hairspray.  The picture of me is in one of my 80’s attire, again back in the 80’s not now.  Oh how cute the little skirt over the pants were; however, I will take my sweats for comfort any day.

Let's go on an adventure

If you ever feel like going on an adventure, feel free to come with me to Chicago.  I must add, the adventure is also with my parents.  Be prepared to bring snacks, your Ipod, your blinders, and Imodium.  I love my parents and once we get to our destination all is well and fun is had by all.  Key word is “get.”  Let me take you on the journey. 

Ah, Chicago.  A beautiful city full of one way streets and traffic.  Thank goodness for the Dan Ryan or the Toll Road.  An easy drive to get downtown.  No worries.  Wait, did I say thank goodness for the Dan Ryan or the Toll Road?  I am sorry, my bad.  You see our “adventure” begins by going on Route 41, or the beautiful and scenic route of Indianapolis Boulevard.  Oh, sure.  My dad tries to trick you into thinking you are taking the toll road; however, let’s exit onto 41 shall we?  Why not?  Let’s be adventurous.  After all, we are going on an adventure today.

Now, let’s take a Type A Personality, like myself, who loves a routine and just wants to get from point A to point B with no problems.  Mix this Type A person with the whispers from the front seat of the car saying, “Is this the turn?”  What do you get?  A stressed out Type A personality who has now brought out a cross and is praying the rosary.  Nice picture, right?

My parents can be nostalgic, which I know I am, too.  However, if I have to pass by a few hookers to go to a place where I used to frequent as a youth, you can bet I won’t.  Here is a story my parents tell me every time we venture down good old Route 41: “You know, Don used to live around here.”  Key words, parental units, USED TO!  As in, no longer do they live there.

As my parents are having a great time down memory lane, I continue to pray the rosary.  I also added my brown paper bag to breathe in and out of.  Too bad the car doesn’t have an oxygen mask that just pops down in case of an emergency.

Another thing I have heard numerous times during our adventure is:  “Wow, look at all the buildings boarded up,” or “These streets are in horrible shape.”  YOU THINK?  Gee, I wonder why they aren’t fixing those streets.  After all, you should have smooth pavement for the police officers to bust up that drug deal on the corner.  AND, for the firemen, they need to put those fires out prior to boarding up the buildings!  Duh!

We do always end up at our destination; however, instead of 30 or 40 minutes, it takes about an hour.  In case you didn’t know, the Dan Ryan and Toll Road do not have stop lights; however, the scenic route of Indianapolis Boulevard has plenty of stop lights for you.  The lights take about 10 minutes to change, so you have many photo opportunities to share with family or to post on Facebook.  Instead of looking at Cellular Field on your way to Chicago, you can look at the different groups hanging out on the corners or catch the people drinking out of a paper bag.  Do my parents know these people could want my oxygen mask, a/k/a brown paper bag, and try and take it from me!

I think you get the picture.  This is why I enjoy the train.  No worries.  They take you from point a to point b with no problems.  So, people, I ask you, why take the expressway and risk traffic when you can go the Cabrini Green route and risk being shot at?  Happy travels!

Dedicated to my mom and dad, the world’s most adventurous people I know.