Tuesday, September 13, 2011

The Empty Nest

The empty nest.  Isn’t this what we strive for?  We raise our children to the best of our abilities and then let them go free.  Free to fly.  Free to experience life, their life.  Key words?  THEIR life.

Since Shaun is now studying in the Country of Tasmania, I am cursing myself for raising an independent child.  Oh, you didn’t know Columbia College moved to the Country of Tasmania?  Well, in this mom’s eyes it might as well be.

I prided myself with making Shaun this independent person when he was growing up.  I did this in every aspect of his life, from school to even doing his own laundry when he decided to continue to put dirty clothes on top of clean clothes.  Now, at times, I want to kick myself.  I keep saying to myself, “You did this.  You made him independent, ready to face the world and leave your nest.  Now look at you?  You are a mess.”

Definite kudos to Shaun for his independence and never afraid to try or do anything.  When Shaun was in 3rd grade, his teacher had said to me, “He may not appreciate what you are doing now, but in the future he will thank you.”  This quote from his teacher has stayed with me for years.  Again, shame on me for raising this independent person.  I know I shouldn’t shame myself but pat myself on the back.  It is due to all my pushing that Shaun has succeeded in many things, from spelling, to writing, to music.  When Shaun would write, I would always say, “Visualize what you are writing.  Can you see what you are trying to say?”  What do you know; lyrics are now written on paper instead of stories.  In all actuality, musical lyrics do tell a story.

As I continue to kick myself for the independence, I guess I also need to give myself a break and realize it is ok that I am feeling this way.  Feeling possessive of this creature I molded is normal.  Just as I was there when Shaun took his very first steps from the nest while holding my hand, I am also the one who released his hand to fly into the start of his life….away from my nest.