IT’S A CROCK OF CRAP!

IT’S A CROCK OF CRAP!

As the white flakes gently floated down from the sky, I remembered… WHAT A CROCK OF CRAP WINTER WAS!  Let’s begin, shall we?

Ahh, the excitement of winter break finally ending was here.  Like a school kid, I was excited for school to begin again.  Okay, maybe a school kid wasn’t excited, but I was!  My clothes were all picked out.  All my things needed for school were put into my huge pink suitcase. After all, it is winter and a suitcase is needed to lug things back and forth.  No flip flops on my feet, but fluffy boots instead.  Shoes to change into were in my pink suitcase, along with everything else.  By the time you head out the door, you are wishing you had a doorman to carry your things to the car.

My husband, the sweetheart  he is, had cleaned off my car the night before.  I was ready to go!  All I needed to do in the morning was warm up the car.  A stress free morning, ready to great all the kids.

I decided to warm up the car 30 minutes before my departure time.  People who know me know if I am not there 15 minutes before an appointment, etc., then I am late.  Let’s not forget that much needed cup of coffee either.

Nothing says, “Good morning” like going out to your car and the doors are frozen.  Not one door, but ALL FOUR.  I swear, if you looked out your window, I probably looked like a cartoon character.  Both feet on the door, trying to pry the damn thing open.  All the while, yelling at the car:  “Are you KIDDING ME?”  “WHAT THE HELL?”  “UHHHH!”  “AHHHH!”  “Oh, COME ON!”  “SERIOUSLY?”  And, of course the ever popular, “I’M MOVING!”

Plan B.  Go to neighbors house and ask him to open it.  I mean, my strength is decreased due to my Lupus but surely he can open the door.  Ummm, no such luck.  Now picture a big guy, both feet on the door, trying to pry the damn thing open.  You guessed it, no such luck.  

I did eventually get into a car to get to work.  Mind you not the nicely cleaned car, but the car that was fully packed with snow.  By the time I got to work, looking out the one little spot that I chipped clear, and driving in a hunched position, I was fully in sweat mode.  Hair now plastered to my head.  My makeup?  Forget it.  I looked like a hooker, who was high on crack, and decided to apply blush to their cheeks and chin!  As you picture the make up look, don’t forget to add the plastered hair.  Yikes!

So as I sit here and rethink the events of the day, all I have to say is, “I wasn’t made for winter!  I want my flip flops!”