Mother: something or someone that gives rise to or exercises protecting care over something else; origin or source.
Instinct: a natural or innate impulse, inclination, or tendency.
I believe a majority of people were on edge today waiting to hear about a verdict. Did this mother kill her own child? Verdict? Not guilty. A loud “WHAT?????” could be heard through all of Facebook land.
When you are a mother that “motherly instinct” kicks in. You hurt if your child hurts. You want to make everything better.
When I had Shaun, I never thought I had any type of instinct. If he would cry as a baby, I would cry with him saying, “I don’t know what you want! I fed you, changed you, burped you! I just don’t know!” What a sight, two bawling babies looking at each other. The only difference was I was a 24-year old baby. I had no clue what to do for this screaming child, and it was frustrating.
Have I been frustrated over the years with various scenarios in Shaun’s life? You bet. One of the most trying times was when Shaun was in 5th and 6th grade. Shaun was one of the short boys, which really got to him. It didn’t matter that he was on the basketball team, quick, in karate, all he saw was how short he was. He would cry about it. I found journal entries about it. The heart wrenching part of this was when he came to me and said that he wanted an operation to make him taller. Apparently, through research, Shaun found a type of operation where they break bones, put metal in you and stretch you. He was adamant about this. He didn’t care about repercussions; he just wanted to be taller. It is tough to see your child hurt. Needless to say, there was NO OPERATION. After all my talk about “once you get to middle school, you will see all shapes and sizes” this finally happened. Shaun was no longer the shortest of the bunch.
How I wished I could have “protected my young” with the death of his childhood best friend. Another example of wanting to take this pain away, but I couldn’t. Shaun did get through it, but it hasn’t been until recently that he has shared things. Shaun has said, “I was done with high school after my sophomore year.” When I thought about this, I realized the “doneness” of high school was after his best friend Brandon passed away, followed by his grandfather, followed by another classmate. All within a month. Again, motherly instinct kicked in and you want to take away that pain, but you can’t. All you can do is just be there and listen.
All parents have at one time or another been frustrated with their children. We wouldn’t be HUMAN! We also need time to ourselves just for our own sanity. But in the end, we want our children with us.
When Shaun was going to Purdue, the day before we took him I was sobbing my eyes out. I was sobbing so hard it took my breath away. Anytime he goes anywhere, it is like he is going across the country. And when he returns, I have balloons and a band to welcome him home even when he just goes to Chicago. Okay, no balloons or a band, but neighbors can attest that I walk quickly home to see him and hear how his trip was. I am getting so good at the translation of “grunts.”
As I heard the “not guilty” verdict today, it got me thinking of motherly instinct. Yesterday was the 4th of July. Fireworks were going off and one got a little too close to my neighbor and her child. Her motherly instinct was there, as she grabbed her child to protect her from any type of debris. I believe she didn’t have to even ask herself, “What should I do?” She just reacted……motherly instinct…..protecting her young.
So as I sit here and think about this monster of a mom they are letting go, she will get hers. To all of us wonderful moms, and dads who act as a mom, that have our motherly instinct 24/7, kudos to us. May we all stay strong and continue protecting the ones we love.
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