Wait, you just said WHAT??

So a guy walks into this bar, comes up to me and says…..wait, let me rephrase this.

So a 6-year old walks into the classroom, comes up to me and says, “What’s up, guuurrrl?”

Wait, WHAT did you just say?  Ah yes, the new generation of kiddos.  I mean can I see myself going up to my second grade teacher and saying to her, “What’s shakin bacon?”  Okay, so maybe that’s not the term for the 70’s, when I was in grade school, but you get the picture.  When this little darling came up to me and said this I believe my jaw had struck the floor causing a split in the cement.  So what do you say to a 6-year old that calls you “gurl?”  Well, after you lift your now pulsating chin from the concrete floor, you tell him nicely, “I AM NOT YOUR GUUURRRL!  NOR WILL I EVER BE YOUR GIRL AND I AM MARRIED!!  GO SIT DOWN AND WRITE YOUR ABC’S!”  Okay, so maybe I didn’t say it to him this way, but I did tell him this is not appropriate to say to your teacher.

They are the CUTEST little things, these 5 and 6-year olds.  But don’t be fooled.  Underneath the cute ponytails and little haircuts are HORNS.  And they are not afraid to show them.  Whenever a “newbie” walks into a Kindergarten class and they start with the “Oh they are so cute” routine, you need to set them straight, for this is the only way the newbie will survive.  When you tread into a Kindergarten class, you are entering a danger zone.

My husband was able to see what I was talking about.  He always said, “Oh, they can’t be that bad!”  You shall see, dear.  My husband came to see me, but little did he know Night Of The Living Dead was playing in our classroom.  Wait, not playing, it was ACTUALLY happening.  He sat down and next thing you know one zombie, I mean student, was behind him, followed by another…then another.  He didn’t know what to do!  Should he throw these “zombies” a piece of flesh?  What would make them stop!

Do you know how hard it is to explain to the “zombies” about the pretend center?  Not ALL 25 can get into the pretend center at once.  Plus, can you even imagine how well they would play together, as they grab Mickey Mouse’s arm and rip it off.  And kindergarteners don’t understand the “you will get your turn” thing.   So, we tried the explanation, told the students who were in the pretend center for that day and everyone else STAY OUT.  But no, one zombie at a time (complete with arms out in front of them) tried to get into this pretend center.  Two of us had to barricade the zombie’s from entering, and then throw them a bone so they would stay out.

Today was The Return Of Night Of The Living Dead, or return from Spring break. and I am happy to say that I survived!  I truly love what I do and probably have thousands of stories about these creatures. J  They keep me laughing and always on my toes.  Hey, if a zombie can’t keep my mind off of my health issues, I don’t know who can!