Motherdom



As you can see, from an early age Shaun didn't want to listen to me.



Being it is Mother’s Day; I thought I would take a trip back to my road to “motherdom.”  If motherdom is not a word, it is now.  I became a mom when I was 24 years old.  Some people told me you “forget everything” once you have your baby.  Not this trap door of a mind.

During my first trimester, people said to me, “You are going to sleep and sleep.”  Did I sleep and sleep?  Of COURSE NOT.  The first trimester I stayed awake.  And to add to the pleasure of no sleep, I had a cold the first three months.  When they say, “You are glowing” it was probably my red nose they were talking about.  I was also afraid I would never want to eat pizza again.  The sight or smell of it made me gag.  What were my cravings?  Beer and fruit. 

Enter second trimester.  The worst yet.  I had the worst heartburn known to man.  Forget Tums and Rolaids, they couldn’t touch the pain.  I thought to myself that if the old wives tale is true regarding heartburn and your baby having a lot of hair upon birth, well I guess my baby was going to have an afro.

The final stage, the third trimester.  Supposedly this is the worst time.  Not for this Polish woman.  This is when I felt my absolute best, even though I waddled when I walked.  It really amazed me, when riding the train, how many men would see me waddle down the aisle and raise their Wall Street paper high above their head so as not to make eye contact.  A man never gave up his seat for me, only women would.

I thought I was going into labor while I was at work, but I was totally relaxed about it.  I made sure everything was in order prior to leaving the office.  Everyone just kept looking at me and telling me to get out already.  Turns out, I wasn’t in labor and was home a week before having to go the hospital.  I remember going to the bathroom and seeing a nice mucus glob in the toilet.  Great, I thought.  I am going to miss Oprah.  I called the doctor, who said to go to the hospital.  I also called my mom, who hurried over.  I wasn’t too happy about having to go to the hospital.  Again, I was going to miss Oprah.  Also, I was going to miss the remaining 3 classes of Lamaze!  I didn’t care about missing all that breathing stuff, I was upset about not getting the free gifts they would give us each week.  Let’s not forget about the refreshments they served in between our breathing practice.

So we get to the hospital and they hook me up to the monitors.  It was great; my heart rate was just as fast as Shaun’s.  It was like dueling heart rates.  I remember thinking the contractions were not bad at all; however, my water had not broke.  After a few hours, I was told they were going to break my water with this knitting needle.  Once the water broke, then the contractions really started.  I also remember not wanting the sheets to touch me.  People in the room tried covering me up but I glared and said, “If they haven’t seen a naked woman before, then this can be their first!”   And that focus spot they wanted you to look at?  Forget about it.  If they told me to focus on whatever it was I was supposed to focus on, I would do the opposite.  “YOU focus on the picture on the wall!”  Anything and everything annoyed me at this time.  My mom tried to help me with my breathing, but all it sounded like to me were snake hisses. 

Let’s not forget the constant throwing up while I had my contractions.  Oh, good times.  The nurses kept telling me to lie down even though I told them I was throwing up.  Finally, to make them happy, I said, “Okay, sure, I will lie down for you.”  How great was it when they tried helping me to lie down and they immediately had to push my pregnant self back up because I was…you guessed it, throwing up. 

Shaun was actually a very easy birth, once he decided to emerge.  I actually had to squeeze him in to make sure he didn’t come flying out since the doctor wasn’t there yet.  Once the doctor was there, it only took about 2-3 pushes.  Shaun did not have an afro; however, he did have hair. 

You know up until the time you deliver your baby, the focus is on you?  That CLEARLY changes once you have your baby.  I remember doing the “dance of the clean your nether regions” in the hospital.  I am sure you remember this, those of you who are mothers.  It is an entire “dance” of movements and motions after you go to the bathroom.  It felt like a 20 minute ordeal at times.  Of course, Shaun was in the hospital room so nobody cared about me and my “dance of the nether region.”  At least not until I started crying hysterically because the pad I had.  Let me rephrase this, the mattress pad they gave me fell to the floor.  It was like a “are you kidding me” moment.  It wasn’t until this time people realized I wasn’t in the room.  Not really, but that is what it felt like.

Here I am, 19 years later and still can visualize everything.  I can say I survived Shaun’s baby years, toddler years, elementary school years, and his teen years (barely).  I have to say, there is nothing better than looking at a little version of you, and he really is.  I should have known there would be tough times when I told Shaun, while in his crib, to never get teeth because his toothless smile was so cute.  Did he listen?  Of course not, he has a full set of choppers.  J