I’ve been to the Grammy’s, have you?

Ah, sleep.  Beautiful, wonderful sleep.  Sleep is all good WHEN you can sleep.  If you have ever battled insomnia, it is awful.  Days and days without sleep not only are exhausting physically, but also mentally.  So, what does one do when you can’t sleep and all else fails?  Talk to your doctor.  Then, what does the doctor prescribe?  Ambien.  Ambien is a wonderful thing, but when you take it, turn off the lights and go to sleep.  My best friend has had to endure what I call “Ambien night.”  What are Ambien nights?  Well, take a seat and listen to my tales.

The directions say to take Ambien at bedtime, which is what I do.  But, do I decide to sleep?   No way!  I call my best buddy Carole.  While I was on Ambien the green goat was in my bedroom, and she also lost her hat.  How sad!  All the while a turtle was up on my ceiling.  Ummm, what?  I am guessing the so called turtle was my ceiling fan.  Yikes.

Shaun had recorded me one night as I was “running” through the house on the apparent stepping stones that lead to our back porch, at which time I said “hi” to Mr. Tree.  Let me clarify.  I was not running but stumbling through the house.  Not in any shape or form are there stepping stones in my house.  And Mr. Tree?  Well, our Christmas tree that we had taken out of the house was on the porch and I guess I felt the need to talk to it.

Again, JUST STAY IN BED!  But, no, I like to talk.  My son had one of his friends over so, what do I do?  Ask them how the flowered chairs were working out in the middle school!  And who knew that my son’s friend had three heads and my son had all of a sudden sprouted a toupee.  Yes, just stay in bed with your mouth closed.  But no, after talking to the boys about the flowered chairs and new heads and hairpieces, I came out with my OWN headpiece…a Chicago Bulls hat, complete with HORNS sticking out.  I am sharing the picture with you, because that is how I roll.  Please don’t pay attention to the lovely steroid face, compliments of my autoimmune disease.  The real focus is on the horns.  Seriously, it is amazing how my son still talks to me. 

Good grief, this person is one hot mess!!

I have been to the Grammy’s and I performed with Madonna.  And, as my best friend will attest to, I was NOT going to wear black!  This is so not me because I love wearing black.  When I woke up the next morning, I looked at my dresser and wondered why all my clothes were hanging out of the dresser, and some were on the floor.  When I called my friend Carole, the next day, I can always tell when an “Ambien night” happened.  When Carole answers the phone after Ambien night, she proceeds with caution.  Realizing that I am my “normal” self, she tells me the events of the night.  I have to say Carole has had the pleasure of hearing really interesting songs, which I feel the need to sing to her.  Let’s not forget how I call, talk, and hang up and then call, talk, and hang up AGAIN.  It can get so bad that Carole shuts off her phone.   Again, it is amazing how Carole is still my best friend because she is always the brunt of my “ambieness.”

I didn’t sleep well last night that is why I thought of my Ambien stories.  You talk about wanting to be on the “Do not call list” maybe my best friend might want be on the “Ambien do not call list.”  J